I am not sure how I was persuaded to do this, but my wife and I attended the Stephen Colbert Late Show on CBS a few nights ago. I suspect I was primed to say ‘yes,’ by having walked past the theater many times and seeing the people lined up outside. Besides, the ticket price is great: zero.
You pay instead with patience. My bank account balance in patience is low, but you only live once. In a nutshell, the deal is that you apply online and at some point you get an email confirmation telling you, in our case at least, that you have Priority Tickets for a specific date. All people named on the tickets must be present or the “guardian” will not let you enter the line. The line begins to form well before 3 pm and priority entry closes at 4, at which point late arrivals must enter the “General Admission” line. There appeared to also be a group of “VIPs” who were at the front. Don’t know about that.
In any case, I compulsively arrived early and my wife arrived “late,” but we were in the line together by 3:30, after stuffing down a hot dog from the cart carefully positioned at the entry point for the line. So, we’re in line, fresh wristbands on (like a hospital band) and we wait, fortunately in the shade as temperatures are in the mid-80s. Eventually, another shouting guardian allows the line to enter the theater, which is accomplished by presenting your forearm vertically to display the wrist band.
Inside, we are crammed tightly into a hallway designed for other purposes with multiple TV screens showing past episodes from the Late Show. There are essentially three tranches. You must remain in your own tranche, or else. Another guardian allows us to use the restrooms, down the stairs, in groups (that is, we are released in groups to go down). You are reminded that you must return to your same spot in the crammed in lines. To my surprise, everyone seems to comply.
And we wait. And wait. And wait.
Then we are admitted to the theater. As you enter, another guardian tells you which way to turn and yet another one tells you where to sit. This is not negotiable. We luck out and get an aisle seat and adjacent on the right of the two “center” aisles, closest to the band.
Two important cautions: it is a lot colder in the studio than is conveyed by the “it’s cool in the studio” warning on the tickets. A lot colder. Probably to offset the heat of the lights and massive electronics everywhere in the studio. Also, during what becomes another protracted wait, they pump rock music, or similar, at high volume into the theater. There is no escape. If this bothers you, you may wish to bring earplugs. It did and I didn’t.
The show has a very clever comedian who comes out to “warm up” the audience, complete with calling people up on the stage and humorously embarrassing them. This too is not negotiable. All in good fun, of course, as long as I don’t get called up.
Another man, Mark, as I recall, explains how important the audience enthusiasm is to the energy of the show and indicates how he will call on the audience from time to time to demonstrate its unlimited excitement by vigorous applause and yelling, etc. The signal is a rolled-up magazine held up and rotated. Occasionally, also, flashing “APPLAUSE” signs, but mainly it was Mark. All that technology and a rolled-up magazine. [More likely, it was a script; we’ll never know]
We practice this vigorous applauding and yelling multiple times. The audience is pumped. Hell, even I’m getting pumped, and I generally don’t do pump.
Then Stephen Colbert comes out to talk to the audience, answers a few questions and then, suddenly everything starts happening. The show moves very fast. The monologue is right in front of us but there are a lot of cameras and booms so you end up watching the monitors a lot. Colbert’s guest this day is Josh Brolin, currently starring in Deadpool 2 and Sicario 2: Day of the Soldado. Brolin has a long list of movie credits, but I have only seen one of them, so had nothing much to go on. Colbert, however, is a comic genius and was able to create a very funny interview.
The second guest, Ruth Negga, was less successful. She was the star of Loving, for which she received an Oscar nomination but didn’t have much to say this day. She confessed to being extremely nervous about being with Stephen Colbert who, even for major acting figures, has become a larger-than-life figure.
One absolute standout of the experience was the band, Stay Human, led by Jon Batiste. Their musicianship was amazing, a surprise because I had not cared for them when watching on TV. They came up the aisles during commercial breaks and played right next to us, jazzy pop music, I would call it, and were very impressive. Kept the crowd pumped so they wouldn’t “come down” during the breaks. Side note: during the breaks, Colbert conferred at his stage desk with various staff people and could be seen writing and marking up notes to himself. Back on the air, he never missed a beat.
So, the big question: is this a great experience? Was it worth all the standing and waiting (I hate lines and waiting, if you had not guessed that by now). Answer: unqualified “yes.” The overall experience was exciting and also exhausting because you found yourself going along with the excessive enthusiasm of the worked-up crowd and just letting go. And Colbert was very funny. We laughed a lot. I would do it again. If you do, bring a warm jacket. The studio is freezing. So cold.