How the Other Half Lives

Well, maybe not the other half. Maybe the 1 percent. Or the 3 percent. Or … I really don’t know. For present purposes, let’s just say that the people who buy or rent the places I am about to describe are well off in the extreme. No other explanation fits the facts. Buckle up.

First, some background. I acquired an early interest in the price of real estate in New York City when my wife and I started looking for a place to live when we moved here for her new job. We were not interested in owning anything and our price range to rent had been thoroughly discussed, calculated (holy moly!!) and recalculated (ouch!). Nonetheless, as you search the listings for livable space in livable neighborhoods, your eye can’t help noticing the listings for properties that blow your mind. More than a few examples follow.

My first reaction to this was similar to what I experienced when we dropped into a neighborhood diner for breakfast and got a bill for more than $50. Yes, yes, we ate too much, but still. Breakfast. In a diner. In a scene repeated several times at dinner and even later, we saw many, many people of apparent limited means (judging, perhaps inappropriately, by their manner of dress and general demeanor) consuming equivalent or larger meals with no apparent concern for the cost. In many cases the servers and managers knew these people as “regulars,” so it seems they do this often. Where, I wondered, do these folks acquire the resources to live like this?

Then, I opened the Real Estate section of the Sunday New York Times to which we subscribe. Here is what I found. Really, voyeurs, buckle up.

Back in March a property in the East Village was listed at $7,995,000 which may seem high but it had eight, that’s 8, bedrooms and “5+” bathrooms.The accompanying photo showed brick walls, fireplace and beamed ceiling. Eight bedrooms!

Also in March, what appears to be a townhouse in the Upper East Side was advertised at $21,000,000 with nine, yes 9, bedrooms and ten, really 10, bathrooms.

For comparison, also in March, a 10,442 sq. ft. house in Bronxville, NY (17 miles and, allegedly, a 30-minute drive from midtown Manhattan) was listed for only $6,900,000 and offered 9 bedrooms and 5.1 (??) bathrooms on 1.36 acres. I confess I don’t know what a tenth of a bathroom is but that was the offer. Zillow says it’s a half-bath so that’s probably it. The stone-sided Tudor style home was built in 1849 and has three stories. [BTW, it’s still on the market for $6.9 million if you’re interested]

For people looking for a more vertical lifestyle, there is also One Manhattan Square, “Waterfront Condominium Residences From $1.2M” and going up to about $4.5 million for a 3-BR with 1,667 sq. ft. On the Lower East Side at New York Harbor. But the really interesting thing is the amenities package:

  • 360 degree views
  • Fitness center
  • Squash court
  • Basketball court
  • Spa with Infrared Sauna
  • Studio classes
  • Screening & Performance Theater
  • Bowling Alley
  • Golf Simulator
  • Pet Spa
  • 1 Acre Landscaped Private Gardens

Now, I am not particularly surprised at the price levels for real estate in Manhattan. There is, after all, only one Manhattan and it is one of the most important (if not the single most) cities in the world. Space is at a premium so you can expect to pay premium prices. What surprised me and still amazes me is the scale of some of these properties in the heart of the city. Nine bedrooms?!?

To close this exercise in “holy cowism” and property envy, I commend to you the “Gold Coast” of lower Manhattan, the seven-block stretch of Fifth Avenue between 14th Street and Washington Square Park. A good description and history can be found in the New York Times at https://nyti.ms/2mhFdcJ On offer, as I write, is a “55’ Wide Grand Mansion Fifth Avenue & West 10th. Renovated “Gold Coast” single-fam w/aprox. 16,560 SF indoor/5,690 outdoor, elevator, movie theater $59.5M.” listed by BrownHarrisStevens.com. What can I say?

 

2 thoughts on “How the Other Half Lives

  1. That didn’t take long! The rule is adapt or die. Then you die anyway. Meanwhile, great pizza is still affordable!!

    Like

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